Jackie Lawrence
EDF 2085
Reflection Paper #13
“Think about it. It is sometimes easier for us to be warm and friendly to a person we don't like than to be loving and accepting to a person we care for deeply.” This quote from the article “Understanding the Self” by Don Hamachek struck me deeply. An incredibly important concept, and sometimes so hard to change once embedded in behavior patterns. This is probably one of my worst character flaws when it comes to my personal relationships. I often have a difficult time accepting certain personality traits in my loved ones, wish to change them, and neglect to focus on my own imperfections. I justify my behavior by thinking that I love that person so much, and I just want them to be aware of how they can become better. I would like to think, especially because of my passion for psychology, that I have established a somewhat firm foundation of who I am and where I am going. I may, for the most part, be aware of my strengths and weaknesses, but I often find myself getting angry when I behave in ways I don’t like.
Additionally, I related strongly to the section of the article that discussed impression management efforts. I often feel like three completely different people; who I am at work, who I am at school, and who I am in my own head. My various “faces” sometimes make me feel a little fake, which has caused me to question how genuine other people are being when talking to me. However, the article expressed that impression management is a completely mainstream behavior pattern people utilize to adapt to cultural norms and changes in social environments. In fact, my sensitivity to how I present myself to others suggests I am a high self-monitor, which I can perceive as being a positive characteristic. I suppose I just wish everyone could feel 100% comfortable being exactly who they are at all times. Feedback from others can have an incredible impact on our self-esteem, and our innate desire to be accepted forces us to act in socially desirable ways. This topic greatly parallels what we’ve been talking about all semester in terms of accepting those who may be a little different. If only our world was just a little less judgmental and a lot more open to non-conformity.
All in all, the beauty of being human is that we possess the ability to think, question, ponder, and change. If we don’t like certain aspects of our personality to the point that self-esteem is affected, we can make a conscious effort to transform. And with awareness, constant work, and reflection, we can create meaning and fulfillment during the short time we are here on earth.
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